Monday Night Raw Review: Survivor Series Fallout

Posted by

Last night, Survivor Series celebrated it’s 30th anniversary, and the theme was clearly “what’s old is new again” all night long. In 2017, the main event of this show featured Kurt Angle, Triple H, John Cena, Randy Orton, and Shane McMahon. For perspective? All of those guys also wrestled at Survivor Series in 2003. For the first time from the Stack, it’s #MondayNightRyan.

Monday Night Raw Review: Survivor Series Fallout

A Family Affair

The show opened with everyone’s least favorite McMahon, Stephanie. Triple H’s husband (deliberate) celebrated the win last night by calling Triple H to the ring. The lamer of his two Motörhead themes hit, and he came out in a suit. Before “The Game” could say anything, Kurt Angle’s music hit and he came down to the ring and got right in Hunter’s face. 

He told Triple H that if he ever attacked him from behind again, he’d quit his job as general manager and come for the “King of Kings”. Stephanie, being Stephanie, emasculated Angle, warning him that there would be consequences for threatening him. And then Kurt Angle’s son, Jason Jordan came out, demanding a match with Triple H. Stephanie, being Stephanie, began cutting Jordan down for thinking he could hang with Triple H, saying that he isn’t afraid of anyone in the locker room. And that’s when Braun Strowman came out.

Triple H and Strowman stood face to face until the COO backed off and stepped out of the ring. The crowd chanted “you’re a coward” at Triple H, and then Stephanie made Strowman vs. Jordan official for later that night.

Segment/Match Quality- 3/10 Woo’s

Finn Balor vs. Samoa Joe

This episode was supposed to be about Raw celebrating their win, but less than half an hour in, we’ve already seen three members of Team Raw get in each other’s faces, and now the remaining two have a match. Allllllrighty then.

In all seriousness, both of these guys looked great in the main event of last night’s match, specifically Balor who showed a mean streak we haven’t really seen since he was called up to the main roster. Wait, it just dawned on me, are we ever going to see the Demon King face off against Sister Abigail? Bray Wyatt is back, is that feud coming back too?

As for the match itself, it’s a solid bout. Both of these guys are really good, and they did a great job of selling “monster” Joe vs. “quick” Balor. When there’s a match between a huge wrestler and a lean guy, I love when they capitalize on the cat and mouse dynamic. Example- Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns at Money in the Bank. Dean Ambrose cashed in after the fact and we all forgot just how solid that match is.

There was a really fun spot where Joe locked in the Coquina Clutch and Balor was able to roll out of it and hit the double foot stomp. Balor went up to hit the Coup De Gras, but Joe was too quick, and he was able to pull him off the top rope and win with the Coquina Clutch.

Segment/Match Quality- 6/10 Woo’s

Asuka vs. Dana Brooke

Raw’s sole survivor and the Empress of Tomorrow, Asuka, took on Dana Brooke, and wow, I think this is going to be a competitive match between two equally gifted superstars. Oh yeah, this is a future WrestleMania main event right here. I mean really, Brooke is so good in the ring and on the microphone and totally doesn’t have a job because of her body at all.

Buying that? Yeah, I didn’t think so. I’d be worried if you did. Though, if you thought I was being serious, I know a Prince that’s trapped in another country and if you give me, I mean him $500, he’ll make you rich!

Anyway, Asuka basically toyed with Dana Brooke for most of the match before beating the hell out of her. Asuka kicked Brooke in the face so hard that I bet she’ll actually be a decent wrestler next time we see her, in six months. Thanks for comin’ out Dana.

Segment/Match Quality- 4/10 Woo’s

MizTV w/Roman Reigns

As we kicked off the second hour of the show (oh god, was that only the first hour?), the Miz was running down Baron Corbin and attempting to belittle the loss he suffered last night at Survivor Series. He called Roman Reigns to the ring three times, but nothing happened. After a moment, the Shield’s music hit, and Reigns came to the ring, accompanied by Rollins and Ambrose.

The Shield were re-hashing their dominant win over The New Day last night, and then the Miz took over. He started taking credit for getting the Shield back together, and demanding that the trio thank him. That was all fine and dandy, but then the whole segment fell apart.

The crowd took over and completely derailed the segment, chanting “Miz is Awesome”, “You’re Ungrateful”, and “Thank You Miz” and after a few awkward barbs from Rollins and Reigns. Rollins and Ambrose commented that they’re set on getting their Tag Team titles back, and that Reigns should take Miz’ Intercontinental Championship.

Bo Dallas stepped in between the two groups and said that if they want to get their hands on Miz, the Shield would have to go through him and Curtis Axel. Wanna guess how that panned out? How well do you think that went for Axel and Bo, a couple of third generation Superstars?

Segment/Match Quality- 3/10 Woo’s

Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus

I get that this feud isn’t over yet because there are rematches to be had, but these four have been wrestling each other at least once a week since August. I’m all for slow-burn feuds, but not recycling the same matches over and over and over. I don’t want to see these guys wrestle anymore. Are the Good Brothers too busy selling merch to wrestle?

What is there to say about this match? It was fine. It was a good idea to have to the two brawlers wrestle, but there wasn’t anything spectacular about the bout. There wasn’t any story-telling or selling, just the expected interference from Cesaro. Cesaro distracted Ambrose long enough for Sheamus to him him with the rolling senton of the second rope, but Ambrose kicked out anyway.

Sheamus was preparing for the Brogue Kick when Rollins dove through the ring onto Cesaro, distracting the Celtic Warrior long enough for the Lunatic Fringe to hit Dirty Deeds for the win.

Segment/Match Quality- 4/10 Woo’s

Alexa Bliss and the Seven Giants

The most beautiful woman in th- I mean, Raw Women’s Champion, Alexa Bliss came to the ring as we approached the third hour, and she brought with her, a bag of excuses. She said that Charlotte was just lucky and that she didn’t have enough time to prepare for her new opponent. And then… sigh… Mickie James came out. Seriously? We can’t get new feuds for anyone?

Mickie came out challenging for the title, and then Bayley’s music hit and she came out challenging for the title, and then Sasha Banks’ music hit… You know where this is going. Alicia Fox came out too, and I guess Bliss was as bored of all the action as I was because she started leaving.

That’s when Kurt Angle came out and announced a fatal fourway between the contenders in the ring for a shot at Alexa’s title… When is Paige coming back?

Segment/Match Quality- 2/10 Woo’s

Alicia Fox vs. Bayley vs. Sasha Banks vs. Mickie James

The people in the booth were obviously just as excited as I am because the match was already underway when we came back from commercial an-PAIGE’S MUSIC HIT.

She came out and the crowd exploded. She let everyone know that she’s back, and that she didn’t come alone. NXT’s Mandy Rose and Sonya DeVille came out and attacked everyone in the ring. Wow. Looks like we’ve got a new women’s faction on our hands, lads.

I’m happy to say her, and I’m surprised by the debuts, but uh… that was a fatal fourway. That means no DQ… That match should totally still be going on, right?

Segment/Match Quality- 9/10 Woo’s

Braun Strowman vs. Jason Jordan

So remember how I said I love the cat and mouse dynamic? Because… as much as I hate to admit it, I loved how this match started. Jason Jordan was darting around, trying to aggravate Strowman and then using his quickness to escape. And you know what else? He sold his “injured” knee! It was fantastic and I was into it.

And then Kane came out and attacked Strowman. Good. Because that’s what we needed. We needed more people that made their debut 20 years ago. No, it’s fine. It’s okay. No, I have NO idea why there are so many Bullet Club shirts in the crowd. I have NO idea why Ring of Honor is experiencing new heights of success. Can’t possibly imagine why New Japan is starting to run sold out shows in the states. Really.

This dude just beat up Triple H last night, and now a 50 year old is kicking his ass. Great. Good job guys.

Segment/Match Quality- 2/10 Woo’s

Enzo Amore with Cruiserweights You Don’t Care About

If WWE isn’t going to put a real effort into running a halfway decent cruiserweight division, then I’m not going to put any effort into covering it. Drew Gulak, Tony Nese, Ariya Daivari, and Noam Dar are super talented, but even here, they exist solely to back up Enzo Amore.

Can we get Pete Dunne? Is Neville coming back? Are we sure Rey Mysterio doesn’t want to run this action? Can we just go get James Ellsworth back and see if we can’t make this joke even worse?

Well they were talking about how much money they were making because, sure, and then Rich Swann, Akira Tozawa, Mustafa Ali, and Cedric Alexander came out. They demanded a title shot, and then everyone but Enzo started brawling and not a single person in that crowd cared.

Segment/Match Quality- 2/10 Woo’s

Swann, Tozawa, Ali, and Alexander vs. Nese, Dar, Gulak, and Daivari.

Shocking. What a real shock. Fortunately, Enzo wasn’t on commentary after all, he was just ringside. Since none of this matters at all and I don’t care, I’d like to talk about something that personally bothers me in the world of pro wrestling. Kevin Nash is supposed to be a genius, right? Well then how come when he invaded WCW as a member of the Outsiders, he said “So this is where the big boys play, huh? Look at the adjective, PLAY” during his promo? I don’t think play is an adjective. I’m pretty sure it’s a verb.

Also, is Tozawa still part of Titus Worldwide? Shouldn’t Titus be out here for this? Anyway, Mustafa Ali got the win, and in a perfect world, that would mean something. All eight of the competitors in this match are talented, but they’re stuck on a show nobodyw watches, competing for a title monody cares about.

Segment/Match Quality- 3/10 Woo’s

Walk With Elias

I guess Roman Reigns and the Miz only need 15 minutes because when we came back from commercial, Elias was in the ring with his trusty guitar. He antagonized the crowd for a good five minutes, which is always hilarious, and then he started ragging on how he beat Matt Hardy last night. Well, the Broken One was not happy about this, and he came out to confront the singer.

The two fought for a minute before Elias slipped out of the ring and up the ramp. Okay, solid segment but… That’s it?

Segment/Match Quality- 4/10 Woo’s

Roman Reigns vs. The Miz

This match was a strange one. Because the bout itself wasn’t every actually going to be good, but the result was going to be interesting. Would Reigns eat Miz alive or would interference cost Reigns his shot at the title? And yes, it is that simple. Because despite how great Miz is, and despite how over he is with the crowd, the powers that be absolutely refuse to give him a real main event push. The closest he got to a meaningful feud with a mixed tag match against John Cena and Maryse, and he got squashed.

Interestingly, this crowd was pretty Pro-Roman. Maybe this is just a babyface crowd, maybe Roman is actually starting to get over, who knows? Maybe teaming with the Shield has gotten him over with the fans.

There were a couple of near-falls that would’ve been really convincing if you’ve never watched a wrestling match before, but then Sheamus and Cesaro stormed the ring to distract Reigns, setting up a near-fall that was actually convincing. Rollins and Ambrose came out and cleaned house as well, cheering on their teammate, almost completely because a Roman Reigns match has never had enough substance to carry itself.

Anyway, Reigns hit the spear to become Intercontinental Champion, and now Seth Rollins is the only member of the Shield that hasn’t had the grandslam yet. Hey! Here’s some optimism. Maybe Reigns will actually care about this belt and then he won’t be able to face Brock Lesnar in the main event of Brock Lesnar!

Segment/Match Quality- 5/10 Woo’s

Woo Count- 47/120 Total Possible Woo’s (39%)

Worth Watching?

No, not even a little. Just YouTube the part where Paige comes back and the result of the main event. The Joe vs. Balor match was entertaining, but nothing to write home to mom about. It was a mediocre show. Raw needs to pick up some steam as we get through the cold months on the road to WrestleMania.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s